EUROPE ON-BOARD TO CHECK MATE CHESS
After almost six centuries in its current format, the modern version of Chess is under threat from EU bureaucrats who are pursuing unprecedented levels of political correctness. The game is likely to be unrecognizable once the meddling Euro-crats have pushed through their proposed directive.
The biggest change is likely to see the traditional piece colours of black and white replaced by blue and yellow aligning them to the European flag. The use of black and white is considered by Brussels to be racist and divisive. The black and white squares will also be replaced by Green and Yellow to represent the hope for a more sustainable and eco-friendly landscape.
The King and Queen are to be replaced by two non-gender specific President and Prime Minister in an attempt to distance the game from accusations that it is based on an out-dated concept of hereditary sovereignty. The EU is also uncomfortable that the Male is considered to be a more valued token to capture and so the game will be won on the capture of either. However, some inside the EU are fully against the game’s main purpose of capture or imprisonment against will.
The Bishop also ! looks likely to disappear to be replaced by a Multi-faith Advisor, as there is growing discomfort that the Christian icon may offend Chess players of other faiths.
The term Pawn is also to be dropped as it is deemed insensitive in the current economic times – it will become merely Citizen. The Pawn may also be increased in size to prevent discrimination.
Perhaps the most astonishing proposal is the scrapping of the varying different moves that the pieces may make. It is felt that this does not uphold principles of equality and free-movement, so under plans all pieces may move freely across board in an attempt to promote free movement and equal rights.
It is thought that the EU have also consulted with Animal Welfare organizations who are said to be increasingly uncomfortable with the continued exploitation of the Horse within the game – without recognition as it continues to be presented as a Knight.
Additionally, peace campaigners hope that the term Knight will be replaced by the term Envoy in a hope that war is in no way deemed frivolous.
The final changes will see the Rook cease to be a Castle as there is growing unease with such a grand and elitist symbol being used. A smaller more relevant and accessible form of energy efficient, social housing has been developed.
What a load of c**p!!!
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Have you seen this latest move from the EU? by 'Booney' << You are here!
