The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
If I had a pound for every time Word asked me to save changes when I know I haven't changed anything.
Well for that matter... If I had two pounds for every time I said "if I had a pound" then I'd have twice as much virtual money!
Upon being told that someone has food poisoning, my second question is, “Are you OK?” My first question is, “Where did you eat?”
Skinny jeans should only be worn by skinny people.
Why do the travel size versions of toiletries never seem to smell, feel, taste, or work the same as the regular size ones?
Text messaging needs vacation auto-reply capabilities.
If someone selling you something feels the need to tell you it wasn't stolen, chances are pretty good it was.
I bet that the guy who invented Febreze was a smoker.
The best part about getting new sunglasses is constantly looking into any reflective surface so you can see how awesome you are with them on.
Without fail, I will put the USB in the computer the wrong way every time.
Why is it so easy to forget what you were going to say, but very hard to shake the feeling that it was something important or funny?
Cling Wrap, always clings to what you don't want it to, and never clings to what you do want it to.
All-you-can-eat buffets are the only places where men compete to see who has the largest pile of dirty dishes. A true man is never out-eaten.
There's over a 100 different channels on TV. I want to know who the people are who make them all go to commercial break at the same time.
Finding another pair of clean underpants in the drawer when you thought you were out is the best thing ever.
Why isn't phonetic spelt phonetically?
I'll never understand squirrels. It's like they run halfway across the street, stop, look around and think "am I dead yet?"
Why is the song you're longing to hear never on the radio, but the one that you hate that gets stuck in your head all day long is?
Even if I know the batteries are dead, why do I feel that if I just press the buttons as hard as I can on the remote I just may get enough juice out to change the channel?
Why do people label some deaths as an "untimely passing"? Aren't they all untimely? I doubt anyone has ever said "Well, Bob kicked the bucket right on time!"
I wonder why people, including me, feel the need to show pictures of our Grandchildren to people who really couldn’t care less?
Who the hell leaves the TV remote on top of the TV?
Is it really a drinking "problem" if I don't have a problem with it?
Why did they publish a book called 'Sex for Dummies'; do we really want stupid people to procreate?
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Random Thoughts - continued ......... by 'TeamKermit' << You are here!
