Clearly not true but amsuing:
Blowing in the wind…
April 18, 2009 by joesaward
I was walking in the paddock on Saturday in Shanghai and a piece of paper landed at my feet. As it was rather quiet I started to read it. I don’t know if it can be taken seriously, but it was an interesting read:
CHAMBERS OF RANDOLPH GRIPPER QC
2 OUTER TEMPLE
LONDON EC2
MEMORANDUM – CONFIDENTIAL & PRIVILEGED
FROM Eady Eyot
TO Randolph Gripper QC
DATE 31 March 2009
SUBJECT Witness assessment – ICA Case 14 April 2009
Randolph,
As requested, I conducted a conference today with Mr Flavio Briatore, Team Principal of the ING Renault Formula Team, in the matter of Renault (and others) vs the FIA, hearing on 14 April 2009. In accordance with instructions, the purpose of the conference was to assess Mr Briatore’s potential as a witness in the case. During the course of the conference we covered the usual matters: understanding of the evidence; quality of delivery; credibility; appearance; and risk. I am pleased to report that Mr Briatore scored close to the maximum on all considerations and therefore I recommend that our instructing solicitors prepare his witness statement for our review.
My notes of the conference follow.
EE Good morning, Mr Briatore
FB Morning, Miss Eady Eyot – how you pronounce that by the way? Sound like IDIOT?
EE Eyot is pronounced like the number ‘eight’, it means a small island.
FB OK. No problem. Let’s go.
EE Can you please summarise the subject matter of these appeals?
FB Mean, these people just cheating heh..?
EE Can you be more specific?
FB Mean, every-body [note from EE – I have tried to capture Mr Briatore’s inflexion and use of idiom which comes across as highly natural and authentic, almost like Esperanto, and will, I think present well to the multi-national nature of the court] 2
know you cannot have two floors huh on the car, right? Mean, I tell Pat last year [Mr Symonds, Technical Director] how we gonna win with only one engine, huh? So, he write to Charlie [Mr Whiting, FIA Race Director] say him, ‘hey Charlie, can we have two engines, eh?’ Charlie say ‘no way, against the rules’, UNBELIEVABLE!! Mean, he no understand NOTHING. Every-body know fans wants more engines in each car. NOBODY CARE how many engines except some weird engineer in a cupboard somewhere. Mean, my TV station in Rococo Islands – have a house there too, maybe you come sometime, opening Billionaire Club there next door – they do survey. ONE HUNDRED PER CENT of people on Rococo Island say they don’t care okay. But that’s the problem with Max and Charlie. You can’t tell them NOTHING. And I gave him pair of slippers last year Christmas. Mean, they should let us write the rules, huh?
EE Yes, I can see that would be much better given your insight. But you were saying about the floors?
FB Mean, one day Charlie say no two engines in a car. Next year, this Prawn Team appear from nowhere – completely new team, never heard of them – maybe some kind of Chinese crisp eh? Or pond life. And some other bunch of amateurs. They all turn up in Portugal in January with some kind of double decker CONFUSER. Mean, it’s obvious eh? TWO ENGINES = NO WAY CHARLIE. TWO CONFUSERS = NO WAY CHARLIE. Simple eh? No, no way, not for FIA [pronounced by Mr Briatore as FEE-AR] always want to change everything always want make things complicated. Charlie say, CONFUSER ALLOWED. Some bulls**t about multiple vertical decisions and rules something. Mean, NOBODY CARE about rules. You ask man on street in Rococo Islands, ‘what’s a hole?’ mean he gonna say, please let me check aricle 3.12.5 FIA Technical Regulations 2009? OF COURSE NOT!!! How you gonna run sport like this, eh??? Mean, NOBODY CARE and NOBODY UNDERSTAND!
EE Well the essence of a good case is to keep it simple. I think we can use your analysis to good effect. I understand that there is some question also about the spirit and intention of the rules and in particular the work of the Overtaking Working Group?
FB Spirit? You mean some kind of ghost? No understand. Never heard of this overtaking group. This some kind of joke? Mean, someone wanna make rules now so slow people can overtake quick people!!! Mean, maybe give championship to guy who comes last! Hmmm, must talk to Bernie about that one…
EE Okay, well perhaps we had better leave that one to Mr Symonds. Did you attempt to consult with the other teams before you protested them?
FB Mean, I call Frank, you know he a good guy. I say ‘hey Frank, in spirit of FOTA, your guys show my guys your confuser, hey, no problem heh?’
EE And was he co-operative? 3
FB No, I think he laugh so much he cannot speak. Very strange. Mean, why we have to fight over this stuff, eh? NOBODY CARE about this stuff eh?
EE Have you tried any form of dispute resolution such as mediation? The courts like that these days.
FB Mean, I say to Boss of Prawn, ‘mean you want your money you stop this double confuser eh?’ Prawn he no want to find compromise. No understand spirit of FOTA eh? Bernie says disgrace to have a team in Formula One called Prawn. Mean destroy image of sport. And his pilots, eh? Mean one is older than Castro, the other guy he make a nice chauffeur something maybe take kids to school but no way he a champion like Fernando. Two years s**t car s**t team never say a word, eh? What kind of a champion he is?
EE What other legal avenues have you considered?
FB Mean, other option is sue those IDIOTS. Mean, I call them CHEATS, I tell Court my cars illegal. How dare they, eh? Bring sport into dis-pute, eh? NOW I sue them for libel. See how they enjoy that, eh? Now, have to go, have big problem at football club, eh. Problem with these football managers, think stick their feet on the table, job for life. Worse than engineers. IDIOTS.
EE By the way, if we lose this case, what do you anticipate the cost and time to develop your own version?
FB Mean, minimum 25 million, take six months. Crazy!
EE So it should be ready for Shanghai then?
FB Exactly!
EE Thank you, Mr Briatore, I do appreciate your coming into chambers. You will make an excellent witness.
FB Thank you
G77
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Flavio witness preperation with Lawyer by 'Gillard77' << You are here!
