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Posted by 'adey8ball' on 21 Oct 2008 @ 21:11

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adey8ballJoined: August 2007
Total Posts: 1
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cannot verify the originality of this but i thought they are funny

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about the problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a “P”) and the solutions recorded (marked with a “S”) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightening in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogramming target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last…

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

can we think of some for karting

Message Thread:

Funny Quotes and answers by 'adey8ball' (20 Oct 2008 @ 21:55)

Re: Funny Quotes and answers by 'Tone' (21 Oct 2008 @ 11:03)

Re: Funny Quotes and answers by 'itpro' (21 Oct 2008 @ 12:31)

Re: Funny Quotes and answers by 'MrDarcy' (21 Oct 2008 @ 12:57)

Re: Funny Quotes and answers by 'Chad' (21 Oct 2008 @ 13:49)

Re: Funny Quotes and answers by 'Moonshine' (21 Oct 2008 @ 15:23)

Re: Funny Quotes and answers by 'BanzaiBoy' (21 Oct 2008 @ 18:17)

Re: Funny Quotes and answers by 'RevvedUp' (21 Oct 2008 @ 18:22)

Re: Funny Quotes and answers by 'AdeSmith' (21 Oct 2008 @ 19:01)

The legend of this. by 'DavyBoy' (21 Oct 2008 @ 19:54)

others by 'adey8ball' << You are here!

Nice one... by 'vic' (21 Oct 2008 @ 21:29)

another Churchill by 'Booney' (21 Oct 2008 @ 22:25)

The Yanks are coming ! by 'DevonHawker' (21 Oct 2008 @ 23:42)

Re: others by 'Jasper' (22 Oct 2008 @ 10:42)

Cricket by 'rotaxmxr' (22 Oct 2008 @ 20:49)

Re: Cricket by 'Cadet49Dad' (22 Oct 2008 @ 22:00)

Football by 'rotaxmxr' (22 Oct 2008 @ 20:55)

Re: Football by 'RevvedUp' (22 Oct 2008 @ 22:31)

Seems we lost the Quotes and Answers theme (nt) by 'Chad' (23 Oct 2008 @ 2:42)

Re: Football by 'Cadet49Dad' (23 Oct 2008 @ 20:29)

The world of Pop Music (idiots) by 'itpro' (24 Oct 2008 @ 17:14)

Re: The world of Pop Music (idiots) by 'Scotto89' (24 Oct 2008 @ 22:36)

Re: The world of Pop Music (idiots) by 'Farrang' (24 Oct 2008 @ 23:42)

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